Saturday, May 5, 2012

Glasgow Megasnake

"And here we go - there's the bell for the final lap! But still no one's making a move. The three leaders are keeping pace with each other, literally neck and neck."

In his first race back from retirement, he's somehow managed to keep pace with the front two for the past 31 laps. Now he clings to the inner edge of lane 2 as they go round the bend. He's ready to overtake them on a clear path.

"Here they come into the back straight, and Mr Coe starts his move. Is it too early? Those calves of his must be in some pain!"

He glides past the leading duo and drifts back into lane 1. He can hear the two of them panting, sucking air like a Hoover. Now he is in the final bend. As he enters it he looks to his left and sees them falling away behind him.  Their arms are pumping violently, but their heads are lolling from side to side. A sure sign of tiredness. It motivates him tremendously.

"Mr Coe enters the final 100 in the lead looking very good. They're not going to catch him today."

He can go faster. All the frustration and fury from years of not winning build to a deafening roar in his head. He hears and sees nothing in the stadium except his lane leading to the finish line. His feet are pounding the ground rhythmically,  pulling the track from in front of him and kicking it far behind.

The crowd erupts when he breasts the tape. He beats his chest and screams, "Me! Me!". The camera circles him, capturing his intoxicated state.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Pigs (Three Different Ones)

1. He finally has his hands on the latest issue. It is two days late. During that time his frustration at not knowing what his favourite celebrities did or said has become almost unbearable. Walking away from the convenience store where he purchased it, he crumples the receipt and throws it to the ground and begins reading while walking.

2. She is with a couple of friends at a nice Asian restaurant on the outskirts of Chinatown. How cool to eat where the locals eat. Her friends talk loud enough for everyone two restaurants away to hear. That's fine though, she thinks, their accent is so awesome and so desirable that naturally everyone would really want to hear about their extraordinary lives. She beckons to the waitress, with that beaming smile of hers, and gestures that they need another set of chopsticks. Her friends look at each other with the same thought in their heads - can they not count here? When the waitress arrives with the utensils she puts on her most saccharine voice and asks in Mandarin if they could please have some chili too. How cool that she can speak with English with an accent AND Mandarin. They must be so impressed with her here.

3. He is 3 kilometres into his 8 kilometre run when the personal trainer steps onto the treadmill next to him.

"Hi, is your name Bunka?"

(Panting) "No, it isn't."

"Because I looked on the list of people who signed up, and there was only one non-Chinese name there. Are you sure your name is not Bunka?"

(Panting) "Yes, quite sure."

"So how is your workout today?"

(Panting) "Please excuse me, I'd like to concentrate on running. Maybe we can talk later?"

(Offended) "Oh, alright then. Sure. Please enjoy your, um, jogging."