One of These Days

He wonders why he is treated differently when different guests arrive. He cocks his head to a side and tries to figure out what he has to do to get attention more regularly. He cannot understand why Master ignores him when Master's special friends are around. Is Master ashamed of him? Why would that be the case?

When Master is sad he feels very anxious. He would do almost anything to please Master. In fact he does. He rarely barks at the things he finds funny or irritating nowadays. He knows it annoys Master and so he suppresses all his most instinctive emotions. He cannot bear to disappoint Master that way. He has stopped sniffing even flowers - they used to be his favourite. Now he doesn't take a second look at them. Surely the Master knows what he has given up for Him?

But he feels so helpless when Master ignores him. He whines quietly and slinks away.

Run Like Hell

While he is supposed to be coding, his mind wanders to the gym. He pats himself on the back for completing 4 miles without the knee-guard on Wednesday. If he manages to repeat the distance today, he will have made it 11 miles in a week. Metamucil, his friend in the mornings, threatens to force him off the treadmill and back onto the throne.

He wonders if he will be able to eventually reduce his time down to 8:00 minutes per mile; if he will be able to repeat this distance next week. Will he get fit enough to run the marathon?

The calfs cry out for a massage even before the run - will the Wife oblige? Suddenly the phone rings - it is the Wife. Is she calling with a pre-emptive 'No'? No.

She has fallen while running and is hur

How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat?

At lunch he wonders to himself, "What is the best way to eat Asparagus?" It truly is an ungainly opponent for one who strives to be so elegant, he ponders. It occurs to him that it is not really the fault of the vegetable. Rather it is the fact that none of the common utensils handle it very well. The stalks simply roll off a spoon, while using a fork offers an awkward view, when the stalks are long, of a gaping mouth towards his lunch buddies. Of course there is the option of cutting up the Asparagus into smaller lengths, but it seems too much effort for something of so little volume. The Asparagus is not being a cooperative prey.